


these things i cannot say

by wildchildrun



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Crack, Death, Fluffy, Procrastination at its finest, Wtf is this idek, a little angsty, angsty, flower!au, i guess, i wrote this in a daze of music and postponing, idek, ok, um, very
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:59:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildchildrun/pseuds/wildchildrun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(crack!fic where dan and phil are flowers. yes seriously.)<br/> <br/>Perhaps we’ll find each other later,<br/>when we aren’t two kids<br/>scrambling to find a home.</p><p>Maybe we’ll intersect again,<br/>with new collections<br/>of memories and dreams<br/>tied to our ankles,<br/>searching for someone<br/>to lighten to burden.</p><p>And maybe, just maybe,<br/>next time the<br/>I-love-yous will be real,<br/>instead of muttered hopes<br/>that left our lips bloodstained.</p><p>— Emily Palermo, I’ll See You in Five Years<br/> </p>
            </blockquote>





	these things i cannot say

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT IS THIS. IM SORRY. THIS IS A WEIRD ASS FIC
> 
> while reading you should maybe listen to: arms christina perri, two birds regina spektor, and i do adore mindy glehill
> 
> ^^ got me into a meadow-y headspace
> 
> aight peace out.

 

in his first day, on the lush patch of valley, the sun is golden and strong. as he uncurls his first indigo petal, he hears the sound of passing birds whistling. he is scared, but the world is beautiful and beckoning. fear doesn't trump seeing the hazy blues of the sky for the first time. it's a hard thing to adjust to, and when the morning melts into afternoon, and the sun beats on his leaves, he recognizes a feeling he can't quite put a finger on. the sun lowers further, and the feeling increases. he mentions it to the older hyacinthoides non-scripta around him, and they gloat, _don't complain of thirst when you've only been here a day_.

 

he doesn't feel comfortable asking any other question, just lets the hours melt away. he finds refuge under the thick blanket of stars, and the night bugs who light up the darkness blanketing them. they play with each other, do enchanting jigs in the world above. he wishes he was one of them, so this feeling of need- need of something- would go away. he wants to dance carelessly with the light creatures.

 _you like the light bugs too?_ the voice isn't one he recognizes immediately, but then he twists a little, and sees another flower, a callirhoe involucrata. he's seen a lot of beautiful things today, but the purples of this flower are deep and bruising in a way that comes natural.

 

_hello callirhoe involucrata, im hyacinthoides nonscripta! and yeah, they are beautiful!_

he silently hopes he’s not embarrassed himself yet again.

_dont call me callirhoe, call me phil._

 

_you… named yourself?_

 

_why not?_

 

phil, and yes- he decides he likes the way it sounds- is older, and clearly knows what’s up, so he thinks for a moment, before answering.

 

_can I name myself too?_

 

_i’ll forget hyacinthoides in a minute, so you might as well._

so phil is already funny and kind and beautiful. is it possible to fall in love so quickly? 

 

the next morning he is greeted by something more gratifying than any experience he has ever had, and it is dew. it soaks his tiny frame and he feels alive and new and whole.

 

the rest of the day is misty and the sky has a couple gray clouds, but the feeling of his first drink, will stay with him.. maybe forever. he has no idea how many sunsets he will live to see.

 

phil beams back at him, and this time another flower, a meadow pink, with a sweet name (louise) tells him she thinks he's grown a solid ten feet taller. and so his second day in the tiny expanse of their home, nestled in between two boulders, begins.

 

it gets interesting rather quickly, when a passing couple comes to sit. he cant make out their features but he can see the girls scuffed up boots, and the boys black jeans.

 

louise, phil, and he, stop their game when the girl says, something, quite poignant, "I love you, Daniel."

 

The boy-Daniel, looks into the distance, and then says, "I love you too, always." 

 

He watches the exchange and even hours later, he can't stop thinking about it. The meaning behind the words, and the way they looked at each other with forever in their eyes. 

 

 _are you okay?_ it's phils voice, but he can tell louise is worried too.

 

 _yeah. well im glad to have as good friends as you guys are. i could've sprouted somewhere else_ _with roses or something else as pretentious_.

 

they laugh, and louis says  _i would've saved you. plucked myself to help your sorry stem!_

 

 

they sway slightly and if he reaches the tips of his curled purple petals, they touch each other.

 

_also, call me dan._

 

they accept his new name with no snickers or giggles, like the other blue bells did. for the rest of the second night, they stay up and talk. louise falls asleep first, and then it's just dan and phil, and the silver of the moon.

 

it feels different, and he wishes he had legs, so he could walk over and pick up phil. except knowing how clumsy he is, he would tip over, probably.

 

the thought makes him sad, for the thought of the other beautiful life that might exist somewhere.

_what are you thinking about?_

 

_the universe._

_like the planets and stuff?_

_no, like you and me. like us_.

 

phil is silent for a moment, then says _you've thought about us?_

 

the next thought escapes before he can stop it, _vividly_.

 

 _do you ever wish... we got to know what life would be... as a..._ phil sighs.

 

_human? yeah of course i do._

 

they talk for a while after that, the moonlight bouncing off dan's hanging flowers, and coating his tounge, letting him say things like, i hate being alone, and, what happens when in a crowd of a million callirhoes, you are my only phil.

 

this is the night-morning they become known as hyacinthoidesnonscriptacallirhoeinvolucrata-or danandphil.

 

the first day of his life was lonely, but now he has phil who makes him feel everything, and louise who is lovely and always creative and he is happy. they spend their days talking about the stars, about the animals that phil is fond of, and trying not to annoy everyone around them.

 

the last part can be a struggle if he's honest.

 

they joke around, and flirt and play in the sun, and louise says  _you are sickeningly cute. it's hard for me to watch, im going to become ill!_

 

he and phil glance at each other, and laugh in unison, and the night stars twinkle and then- a light bug sits on phil! the elder flowers are annoyed and pompous as usual, but he and phil know that the light bugs are smart and know who to land on. the glow looks nice on phil. 

 

it's on the second week of being alive and in love with life (and phil) he is plucked from the ground by a child with pudgy fingers, she picks the three of them and a couple other nearby pink meadows that he never bothered to learn the names of. it hurts a lot, more than any pain he has ever known, to be ripped from his roots, and he is sure he is screaming or phil is screaming or they're all screaming- because it **hurts.**

 

the pink meadows neighbouring louise have all been completely crushed, their delicate wind blown leaves ripped off.

 

an older woman, picks up the child, and the flowers, and then he is up close to the face of a human. he tells phil _i am scared i am scared i am scared_.

 

louise, for what might be the first time, has gone completely silent.

 

phil says _, come on, we'll be okay, i promise_.

 

he wishes the bigger human held the flowers closer so that he was touching phil. he lets the sentiment reach phil, and phil sends back a feeling- longing.

 

they're laid on a wooden table, which is okay, but then dan gets thirsty and thinks- oh no.

 

louise has still not answered his questions, hasn't said anything. and it's scaring the crap out of him. he keeps whispering _louise louise louise, my friend, my friend, please_.

 

phil tries alongside him, but it is all in vain.

 

phil is next to him now, they touch in a way they could never before, and it helps, even though he is scared. being with phil always helps. he tells phil this, how he imagines being human so he could kiss him, so he could yell at him, so he could hold him.

 

phil says, _i love you, dan_.

 

dan knows what his response will be, because loving phil is easy, but it still takes a moment to collect himself _. i've always loved you phil, since i first saw you. talking to you cured thirst and loneliness. but it wont cure this will it?_

 

he knows the answer, because he realizes now, what happens when you're plucked.

 

_lets not think about that now. tell me more of what you would do if we were humans._

 

dan is hurting, but he says _, i would marry you. i would live with you in a home... maybe by the sea. we would get a dog, and name it-_

 

phil interjects- _spike. it has to be spike or i refuse._

 

dan continues, feeling himself grow fonder, _okay so i somehow agree with that silly name, and we have some kids. and we'd love them even if their petals were brown and they grew upside down._

 

phil sighs, _and we would show them the dances of the light bugs._

 

phil's stem motions closer to dan's.  _and we would love each other for years._

 

_yes. we would have years and i would spend them all with you._

 

he starts to shake silently, because none of it's fair, and louise still isn't answering, and he's scared.

 

the next morning, they wake up and louise is gone. they can't see her and they're sure it's the older woman. they grieve differently.

 

phil shuts himself off, doesn't talk for a while, but all dan can do is talk.

 

the pain comes out in different ways, and maybe it’s why phil looses a petal early.

 

he wakes up and sees phil, his phil, his vibrant phil, looking sick.

 

_are you okay? please I cant do this again, please be okay._

 

 

_dan, dan, i love you._

 

_forever then. Love me forever. stay with me. please. Please phil._

 

_Our forever isn’t as long as some others, but it was perfect to me._

 

_please phil._

 

_tell me about our kids._

 

_okay. okay yeah, we have three, right and two of them look like you, and one looks like me. they’re all creative and good at math and sports and all the other crap parents want. But they have super powers right, right Phil?_

 

_Of course._

 

_And they grow up to be Important People who make us proud, and we settle into life well. and we catch fish on the weekends, maybe, right phil, and we see the ocean and we sleep next to each other every-phil?_

 

_i love you_

 

_Please._

_Please._

_No. Phil. nonononononophil-myphil-no._

on a wooden table, in may, dan looses the only love he has ever known and will ever know. the same blazing sun that greeted him, sets with finality.


End file.
